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"Our lives are a book that has already been written. The brilliance of the plan is that we are only given a chapter at a time..." ~A. Drayton Boylston

Sunday, October 05, 2014

Walking Away

Sometimes people walk away from love because it is so beautiful that it terrifies them. Sometimes they leave because the connection shines a bright light on their dark places and they are not ready to work them through. Sometimes they run away because they are not developmentally prepared to merge with another- they have more individuation work to do first. Sometimes they take off because love is not a priority in their lives- they have another path and purpose to walk first. Sometimes they end it because they prefer a relationship that is more practical than conscious, one that does not threaten the ways that they organize reality. Because so many of us carry shame, we have a tendency to personalize love's leavings, triggered by the rejection and feelings of abandonment. But this is not always true. Sometimes it has nothing to do with us. Sometimes the one who leaves is just not ready to hold it safe. Sometimes they know something we don't- they know their limits at that moment in time. Real love is no easy path- readiness is everything. May we grieve loss without personalizing it. May we learn to love ourselves in the absence of the lover.

Thursday, July 03, 2014

Rainbow Around the Corner

I took this picture yesterday after a thunderstorm, just around the corner from my house.  It's difficult to not be frustrated when technology doesn't quite capture the beauty of something.  The rainbow I saw was more vivid than this picture, with brightly defined colors.  But alas... This is how the photo came out.


Letting Him Go

There are days when I think "I've got this" and there are days when I know there's still a long road ahead.


Thursday, May 22, 2014

Oysters

With over 500 miles of driving this past weekend, I’ve had lot of time to listen to Tori Amos’ new album “Unrepentant Geraldines”. I think the whole album is awesome, but there are a handful of songs I really love. The duet with Tori and her teenage daughter Natashya, called “Promise”, about a mother and daughter promising to always be there for each other is very heartfelt. By far my favorite is “Oysters”…. which is a very relevant song for me right now…. about aging and getting back to yourself. The “turn” part is sung very beautifully…. you have to hear it to really know why I love the song. 


There is finally a fan-made video for the song that recently popped up on YouTube:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4FAR4InJ9wQ

You can also hear the beautiful rendition of the song by the PS22 Chorus:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fEdp9mda26A

Here are the lyrics:


so can these shoes take me to
who I was before
I was stabbing my sticks into
a vulnerable earth
and I can almost out run you
and those stalking memories
did I somehow become you
without realizing
found a little patch of heaven now
so then I’m gonna turn oysters in the sand
‘cause I’m working my way back
I’m working my way back to me again
not every girl is a pearl
with these ruby slippers
with these ruby slippers
so then I’m gonna turn oysters in the sand
in the sand
turn
turn
turn
and there are forces of conflict
taking portions of my mind
in whose realm laced with trickery
the fragments I must find
and I can almost out run you
and those stalking memories
did I somehow become you
without realizing
found a little patch of heaven now
so then I’m gonna turn oysters in the sand
‘cause I’m working my way back
I’m working my way back to me again
not every girl is a pearl
with these ruby slippers
with these ruby slippers
so then I’m gonna turn oysters in the sand
turn
turn
not every girl is popular
popular
popular
not every girl is a pearl
with these ruby slippers
with these ruby slippers
so then I ‘m gonna turn oysters in the sand
in the sand
in the sand
turn
turn
turn