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"Our lives are a book that has already been written. The brilliance of the plan is that we are only given a chapter at a time..." ~A. Drayton Boylston

Monday, February 13, 2012

Learning to Love Again

I am glad to say that Ray and I are still in each others lives.   After some misunderstandings and me letting my insecurities get in the way.... he didn't give up on me or run away.  We talked about it and worked it out.  I'm sure we will have more difficulties along the way, but I am glad we have the strength and sense of humor to get through these things together.  I am still trying to get used to kindness....and being gazed at with love, and being given affection I have wished for and craved for so long.

I am still nursing a broken heart, and I am still married even though I am separated and will be for a while.  I am glad to have someone in my life who is understanding and patient...and knows who I am but is not afraid.  I am slowly feeling my heart open again, ready to accept the love of another person.  Having to accept that someone I loved for so long didn't love me was very painful, and having someone in my life who feels the same way about me for the first time in a long time is definitely different.  But I could get used to it.... and it is for once a happy challenge.

I love that Ray is a communicator.... and as much as I am not a phone person, it is really nice to hear a kind voice every day.  Having someone checking in who cares how I am feeling and how my day is....has been wonderful.  We only get to see each other once a week, but I have something to look forward to and it gets me through the arduous work week.  It is a little difficult to not get overwhelmingly distracted thinking about his dreamy blue eyes and what an awesome kisser he is..... but again..... a happy challenge :)  By the time I do see him, it is all I can do to keep myself from leaping into his arms..... and I love it :)

Most of all.... I love the warmth that lingers long after our visits.... it is like a week long hug until next time.  Caring about someone is one thing, but feeling their affection for you long after you're apart is an amazing feeling.  And it is something I have greatly missed and wished for again in my life.

I'm looking forward to being with him more (especially this weekend, when we will be spending the day together, which is not something we have gotten to do yet), experiencing new things with him, and learning to love again.

He calls me his "Angel", but I feel he is mine.  Wherever this leads us, I am enjoying the journey, and looking forward to the travels ahead :)


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