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"Our lives are a book that has already been written. The brilliance of the plan is that we are only given a chapter at a time..." ~A. Drayton Boylston

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Stepping Out & Selfishness

It's easy to settle into life. We become comfortable with what we know, and let's face it....with our busy days filled with work and "have to do's", we like not having to think much. It's easy to lack ambition and think, "this is ok. My life isn't great, but its ok."

Why settle for ok, when your life can be FANTASTIC? When you could be getting what you want, and enjoying life?

Unfortunately, we stand in the way of ourselves...but it's not completely our fault. Women are brought up as girls to seek approval/permission before doing anything. And we are all taught to view doing things for ourselves as being selfish...and selfish being a bad thing. And when our friends and family members are in the "same boat", we tend to feel that we shouldn't get what we want because they are not.... and for us to get what we want would be a betrayal of sorts. And, they may even try to tell you that's the case.

Sadly, this is one way to find out who really cares about you in your life. People who care should always want you to be happy and see you thriving in your life....they shouldn't get upset when they see that you're going after what you want out of life and calling you a selfish person. In order to live the life you want...you may have to leave the nay-sayers behind, unless you can find a way to juggle their negative thoughts and feelings with your new positive attitude. I have found this to be difficult if not downright impossible. At best, I find myself limiting my interactions with such people. Surrounding yourself with people in your life who ENCOURAGE you, and make you feel good is the way to go....it gets the positive energy (and positive outcomes) flowing.

Just because other people in our lives are miserable, doesn't mean we have to be as well. And you can't make other people get what they want...it's something they have to do for themselves. Just like YOU can only do it for yourself. Is it selfish to get what you want when others are not? Maybe. But does it mean you are inconsiderate and don't care for others? NO, it doesn't. Is being selfish a bad thing if it means you get that which you want and that which provides you a happier life? NO.

The clock is ticking. And if you are a woman in your late 20's or 30's or older... it's ticking loudly. Life is too short to not be happy. And depending on what your goals are.... whether having a family is a priority.... there is no time like the present to get off your ass. Clean house....if you are not moving in the direction of having a family and that's a goal for you, then you need to make way for it to happen.

So how do you start getting what you want? You can start by changing some words in your vocabulary. Turn "going to" into "will"....as in "I will lose weight." By using "going to", you're just procrastinating on getting what you want, since "going to" will always be in the future.

Most people focus on the things in life that they DON'T want. We always get what we focus on. So if we focus on what we don't want.... we get more of what we don't want. Most people think they can wish away what they don't want, but the better approach is to focus positive thoughts and energy to what you WILL have. If you focus on what you want more of in your life and accept the opportunities as they come... you will have more of what you want. And nothing attracts positive things more than someone who is positive and happy.

To attract the things you want, you need to actually know what you want and put yourself in a position to receive and accept those things you want. How can you know when you have what you want unless you know how to identify it when you get it? Envision your life as happy as it can be... whatever that would entail to you. How will you know when it arrives? What will it look like and how will you feel?

Put yourself out into the world.... you have to be seen to be wanted, and to get all the wonderful things coming your way. Opportunities can come in many forms... people could invite you to places you would have never considered going.... your employer could tell you about a job opening up in a different city when you never thought of relocating. Go. Take the chance. You never know what could be waiting for you if you go unless you do.

Fear of rejection often prevents people from even considering to take the chance trying something they've always wanted to. Rejection can hurt like hell....but the more chances you take, the greater the likelihood that you will succeed. Children are fearless...they fall off their bike and get back on. Somewhere in young adulthood, we get rejected....and it hurts...so we stop trying. Find the fearless child within you who wants to get back on the bike. You will experience hurts along the way, undoubtedly, but eventually they will seem small in comparison to what you know you can do. And you won't know you can do it unless you try.

Get out of your comfort zone, and try one thing a week that you were afraid to try before. It could be something small....but try it. Gradually your self-esteem will improve because you'll realize you could do alot more than you thought.

There is a whole world out there waiting. All you need to do is open the door and step outside.

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